As you may well know by now, the world will end on December 21st, 2012 because the Mayan calendar runs out. Not because the Mayans calculated the date of the apocalypse, mind you, but because the doomsday industry demands our imminent annihilation. Only this time, it looks like the crazies… I mean… the Mayans were right.
I don’t have the time to convince you, but mounting evidence suggests that our extinction is at hand. I hope I’m wrong, and I hope that lesser entrepreneurs will continue to exploit circumstances and create more infallible predictions of our destruction, but, if we are about to go away for good, there’s no need to feel gloomy. Here are 5 good reasons we can embrace our fate with dignity and gratitude:
5) No More Smartphone Wars And Lawsuits
So our entire lives were headed to mobile platforms. This dynamic transformation came with a lot of legal baggage. The competition was tremendous, the players fascinating, but prospects were bleak that courtroom arguments would ever receive the Jimmy Stewart filibuster treatment. If you were struggling to make the mobile transition, or you had doubts about its impact on your business, the good news is that questions of relevancy are now irrelevant.
4) No More Justin Bieber Headlines
Sorry, kiddos. No more tweets, no more memes, no more fandom, no more social media. While youths were the driving force of innovation here, and I would have loved to have seen how our social networks evolved, many of us will not share your anguish. If you’d had your tonsils removed, applied shaving cream to your beard, discovered the genius of Louis Armstrong, or come to love a stiff gin and tonic, the hype whizzed by overhead faster than that Canada-sized comet now streaking toward Earth.
3) No Chance Of Going Out In Humiliating, Gangnam-Style Demise
If the economy was fervently trying to grow compatible with mobile devices, video was surely the format tech-visionaries bet would conquer. However, our love for visual stimulation had its pitfalls. It’s best to watch rather than dance along with the following video. And a moment of silence please before your senses are assailed one final time.
2) Climate Change Will No Longer Be An Issue
No one wants to suffer through another Hurricane Sandy, not to mention, the ridiculous conversation as to whether or not human activity contributed to the wall of water that heaved your home into the mid-Atlantic. And Nobody wants to sit through another 2012. (Check out the video below if you want to view a disaster movie trailer – only do so quickly.) Determined entrepreneurs would have taken aggressive action to keep a warming planet inhabitable for our kind while others dickered. But, que sera, sera…
1) We Will Not Be Subjugated To 10,000 Years Of Feline Rule
I saved this for last, because I have mixed emotions. As the custodian of two cats, (note my deference, avoiding the term owner), I’d figured to be a slave with special privileges under the new, pawed dominion. Sadly, after the complete takeover of Facebook and the recent infiltration of the crowd-funding platform Kickstarter, my hopes that Haley would hiss for my mercy were neutered. So I welcome oblivion – I could not endure her turning against me.
Well, that covers it. Participating in our little startup universe proved weird and wonderful while it lasted. Somehow I’m sure that I will still manage to miss my daily writings after we no longer exist. I’m already inconsolable that there’ll be no more exhilarating buildups to the end of the world after the world has ended. Although, I suspect it will not take long in our newfound nothingness to communicate speculation as to when life will begin again. Any early predictions?